Category Archives: Humor

Can Super Bowl MVPs do the Bhangra?

Four months go by, you haven’t updated your blog, and then one day you are staring at something bizarre on your computer screen, and you’re like – Screw hiatuseses, I’m posting this shit.

Unless someone can prove me wrong (don’t even bother), I’m pretty sure this is Mallika Sherawat and Peyton Manning busting a move at some desi girl’s sweet sixteen party. I’m sure Mallika agrees the only thing better than putting your bare bum(nsfw) on display at Cannes, is to do the bhangra with a 6-foot-5 quarterback with a laser rocket arm.

Courtesy: Deadspin

More photos here.

Magnets love Rajinikant. Coconuts too.

Amit links to an Indiatimes article that’ll soon be flooding Inboxes everywhere (it made its way to mine this morning). The updated Rajinikant Logic-Defying Stunt email. Please, someone help me out here. I’ve always wondered about this email. I consider myself a moderate Rajini fan, but am not sure what movies these are allegedly from.

#1 – Chandramukhi, except I don’t remember him jumping high up in the air and staying up there for a few minutes, defying gravity. (He did perform a nifty move where he jumped and clicked his heels, but hey, that was him just dusting off his shoes).
#2 – Chandramukhi again? If yes, then that was supposed to be part of his comedy routine with Vadivelu. Hmm, “comedy routine with Vadivelu”…sounds so much like my “date with Kate Beckinsale“.
#3 – What the Ffffffevicol? Really, he did that?
#4 – Veera, but it was NO swimming pool, but somewhere inside of a recording studio. There’s a difference. Spools of magnetic tape *could* do that to 6 knives. Water cannot, cos’ Water sucks.
#5“A coconut falls on the starter, Rajni releases clutch, and away he goes chasing the villains”. He then breaks open the coconut with 6 knives, and with a smattering of cigarette ash, he uses the brake wire and muffler to refine the coconut water into high octane gas. So what?
#6 – I didn’t watch Baba, so let this be from Baba, cos’ Baba was apparently made in the middle of one of his drinking binges.
#7 – One of those Maaveeran/Manithan era movies? They don’t count. Anything after ‘Mr.Bharath’ and before ‘Guru Sishyan’ does not count.
#8 Rajini runs faster than the current. And what’s logic defying about that?
#9 – We’ve already established what he can do with magnets/magnetic fields. If there is a magnet involved in a Rajini stunt, it is with good reason.

Chocolate Amusement

Chocolate is a dumbed down Bollywood version of The Usual Suspects. Well, dumbed down & sexed up with ample Tanushree Dutta cleavage. Assuming you know the premise of the original, the Hindi movie works around the fact that Irfan (orig:Kevin Spacey) is feeding his imagination off the lead stories on the cover of a GQ magazine, which incidentally carries the photo of Anil Kapoor- Britain’s #1 lawyer (his words). At one point in the movie, they zoom in on the cover, as Irfan is in the middle of another one of his yarns. This is what it looked like:


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Credits


Tamizh movies must be getting real expensive. Is it just me or is this a cry for help from the producers of Majaa? A subtle pun where they’d like you to know through the Credits about their shaken credit?

Scream, you’re on Google

By the time I turned 12, my brain had learnt to shut out the high-pitched wailing of the Hoseki alarm clock. But never did it conquer Dad’s dynamite double finger snap. Twin THX thunderbolts that reached into the recesses of my ear canal producing tsunamis of sound that effectively killed sleep. I wonder if a professional would attribute my insomnia to this distant, but loud memory.
But never in all those years, did I ever wake up looking like this dude(?!). But then, Dad never screamed at me like a little girl.

I concur, Conan

Conan on TV

Conan O’Brien writes about the future of television in the latest issue of Newsweek. The article reads like an extended version of his “In the Year 2000” segment – the attack of the TVs edition.

From Takeover TiVos…

Tough-talking TiVos will even confront viewers, saying, “You’ve watched 40 straight hours of ‘Sponge- Bob’—get off the weed!”

to the Unifying Plasma…

In an effort to bring Red and Blue states together, one giant plasma screen, four miles high, will rise from the central Plains, visible from both coasts.

…he talks about it all.

Bosey is back…with a blog

Sometime back, I had written about the re-emergence of Chennai-centric humor site, Bosey. Apparently, their new avatar is in form of a Blog. You’ll love it…if you like that kind of humor.

From their ARS to play Superman in new Hollywood movie post:

When asked for his comments, ARS said “Yais, Yais, you are correct.”, in a classic clipped South Indian accent, before removing his glasses and adding “Operation success!”

Hyuk…Hyuk!

TiVo for a Baby

If you’re not ready to dish out all that extra cash for TiVo yet, then you got two options. Either convert an old computer into a PVR (Personal Video Recorder)
OR,
plan to have a baby this weekend. Or atleast hope the Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas reopen their ‘free TiVo for a Baby’ offer next year. Amusingly enough, not all new mothers who got the TiVos, got what it was for…

But the women also were confused.
Maria Ramirez, a 26-year-old Mesquite woman, juggled her crying 2-day-old daughter as a Spanish translator explained that she was now a proud TiVo owner.

“Is it for babies?” Ms. Ramirez asked.

See Her Die!

You can bet this promise will rake in an extra million for the makers of House of Wax. Will be curious to know how many show up at the theaters wearing this. And also, if the last words uttered by Hilton in the movie as she gets buried in layers of boiling wax will be – That’s Hot!.
In any case, Aishwarya Rai is in good company. Bollywood Star…Socialite Pornstar.

(this post made after a Bloggers-Meme told me I don’t qualify as one without the mandatory Hilton snippet)

Sketch Revival?

Hollow Men

It’s been quite some time since a good sketch show hit American TV. SNL just plain sucks these days, while MAD TV has its moments. But then they mainly serve to mock celebrities or spoof TV shows. Chappelle’s Show is pretty damn funny, yet it lacks the off-beat originality that shows like Kids in the Hall(my favorites), Mr.Show or the amazing Monty Python possessed. Which makes it perfect timing for a channel like Comedy Central to experiment with the Hollow Men. I managed to watch Episode 2 last week and was pleasantly surprised. First of all, great production values for a show of this nature. The laughs provided were not consistent, but hopefully they’ll get better and get rid of some of the raunchier stuff that is just a lame shortcut to evoke laughter (in some). But overall, the tone of the show is similar to KITH/Python (the cross-dressing atleast) and if they keep up the absurdity and work on the writing, they’ll atleast be relatively better than all the other crap out there. So while the Hollow Men are not going to revive sketch comedy, I’ll atleast use them to derive a chuckle or two as long as they are around. Rather somewhat-funny-Python-wannabes than snoozefest-SNL.

Airs Thursdays at 10:30pm on Comedy Central.