Dear Seeker of ‘Priya Mani Cleavage’, ‘Mallu Aunty’ and ‘Tamil Sex Kadhaigal’ etc.,
First of all, thanks for keeping my sitemeter ticking, and….
Hold ON. Do NOT reach for that “X” button. I need you to spend more than 0.01 secs on my site this time. Please perv-bhai, hear me out.
So yeah, sorry about not actually providing you with snapshots of Priya Mani’s bosom. I would ask her, but common sense tells me that is like walking straight into a colossal lawsuit. Which incidentally provides the perfect segue into my actual appeal.
The blogosphere (from Geek. blog “weblog” + Greek. spharia “sphere.”) is brimming with rage over the actions of a management institute called IIPM. Management institute, you ask? Yeah, it’s exactly like a porn store, but with lots of classrooms where they mind-fudge you with business speak, and of course there is the occasional Mallu Aunty, some cleavage and lots of Tamil sex kadhaigal (the Madarasi Suits are a horny bunch I hear.)
These IIPM folks allegedly came out with ads that allegedly misrepresented their institute. How do I explain this? Hmmm…remember those spam mails? The magic pump that makes your thingie…yeah, the same bastards without the refund policy (I’ll get you someday, Mr. McDick Longer). Allegedly these guys make similar promises, only they talk about huge buildings, some game played with a long stick & balls(billiards?), and swimming pools. (heh-heh, you like all that double talk, dontcha, you sleazy bastard you.)
Anyway, this girl called Rashmi Bansal runs a smart sting operation where she allegedly exposed IIPM’s falsehoods. And another blogger, Gaurav Sabnis hails the deed, and flings more mud in their faces. Like when Penn&Teller exposed the likes of Mr.Longer.
But IIPM did not lie down & take it, for they have always been on top…of the business school rankings, which means that they intended to fight off these allegations. They woke their lawyers. Well, atleast one, who typed up some kick-ass cyber-notarised legalese and sent it off to Gaurav. And then made a phone call to Gaurav’s employers and told them he better remove his posts from “blogspot.com (reference blogger.com)” or else…their top Management students would put their education to good use and demonstrate the inflammability of IBM Thinkpads. So, what does Gaurav do? He quit his job. Not because he is a quitter, but because he allegedly has integrity. And this made a lot of bloggers mad at IIPM. Remember how you were frothing at the mouth when the Madras High Court decided to remove that raunchy Kiran number from ‘New’. Yeah, exactly the same way.
So what I’ve been asked to do by the likes of DesiPundit is appeal to my core demographic to make a stand. Assuming that folks like Muthuvel, Anti, Vijay, Roopa etc. already know about this, I have to turn to you now. What you could do is read from all the links provided above and then listen to your heart. The one above your waist. It’s perfectly okay if you think you’d rather spend time preparing to protest the upcoming ban on SJ Surya’s Kalvanin Kadhali, but please do this for me, else the blogging Mafia could possibly blacklist me and make my life miserable.
Thank You. And keep coming.
To “whomsoever” it may concern: Please don’t sue me. I am just doing this because a blogger has to live by certain rules and the Indian blogosphere forced me into this. Please note I’ve repeatedly used the word allegedly, plus I don’t have 175 crores to spare. Really.
And to all Desi bloggers: Please don’t mind my not taking a forceful stand on this. I’ve been spine-free for years. In fact, right now I’m pretty convinced that Gaurav Sabnis stole mine at birth to reinforce his.