Washington-Dulles airport is like one long-ass stationary treadmill. I trudged 18.3 miles to get to Concourse C from where my Lufthansa flight to Frankurt departs. Gate C02, it said on my boarding pass. Like Carbon Dioxide, I thought, foolishly proud that I still remembered ChemistryOne-o-One 101. Sitting here now, trying hard to breathe in O2, I realize that it could be some kind of sordid message that the Lufthansians are trying to send. Or it could just be that the lack of oxygen in my system is bringing out the paranoia. Bottomline: Like some famous weakling once said, I have the lung capacity of a 1 year old.
I wanted to post this & start off a journey blog. But when I commanded the laptop to look for wireless networks, I swear I saw the Devil’s face flash onscreen for a second and a quick message that said “No wireless networks detected in Hell”. I knew it. C f-ing O2.
Two hours to boarding and I conduct my first 180 degree scan of the area. Like Dane Cook says – I assess the sichuashiyon. And all I see is a gold-rimmed Desi dude trying hard to avert my look. The absolute lack of Desi femdom is depressing. My experience on the domestic flight was so bad, that on this leg, I expect complete redemption from the powers above. Alright, so the first Desi girl just walked in. Pretty. But she’s trying hard to avert my look. Damn…instant & unwelcome deja vu.
There is a man in a suit typing away on a laptop a few feet away from me. The master keystroke reader that I am, I determined this is what he typed just now.
“Funny looking Arab typing away on a Tablet a few feet away from me. I’m trying hard to avert his look, but he insists on staring. Al Bastardi.”
The lone desi girl has parked herself in some invisible area, completely shielded from my roving eye. I’m just incredibly sad now.
Everyone is crowded outside the gate already, even though boarding call is not until 10 more minutes. The bespectacled gentleman reading his new Sony Digicam manual remarks that it is like hitting the elevator button multiple times. – “…but the elevator comes up only once”, he finishes with an intelligent smile. I was confused by the analogy, so I asked him if his camera was 3CCD HD OIS. And left. NOW who looks confused? Ha!