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Thus Spake Our Celluloid Guardians.
And how they guard us…
Macho images of Indian heros will go up in smoke when the cigarette ban is implemented. But Indian heroines, especially the Madras-based ones, will probably just shrug and go, “Join the Club, Annachis“. They’re used to this ban, thanks to Chennai Khatris snapping away at film everytime they put a Wills Navy Cut to their lips.
– Deleted the visual of girl smoking in the Valentine Day celebration.
– Deleted the visual of cigarette on the lips of the girl.
– Deleted all the visuals of Aiswarya lighting the cigarette, smoking and blowing the smoke
Sexist, you say? They say, “Replace the word sex with appropriate word that is less demeaning. Somnambulist, maybe? Just a thought “.
How many times have you heard this statement as you walked out the movie hall?
“Climax sodhappal. Sucked like gravity.”
If only the Censor Board could take over as screenwriters for every movie made, we’d have more sensible plots. But they do what they can do.
– Modify the climax scene to the effect that the murder committed by the hero is not justified
– Changed the climax scene to the effect that the murders committed by Sivagiri is not justified.
– Modified the climax scene to the effect that crime committed by the hero is not justified.
Note to all aspiring Kollywood screenwriters…the Censor Board hates your Vigilante story.
Can the principal of a college ever “womanize”? Will a judge ever attend a phone call during a court session? Will the name ‘Aishwarya Rai’ be ever taken in vain inside a bedroom? Will Catholic priests ever molest little boys?
No more character assasinations please!
– Deleted the entire episode depicting the college principal as womanizer
– Deleted the visuals of the judge attending telephone call during the hearing of a case.
– Deleted the word ‘Aishwarya Rai’ in the dialogue starting from ‘Light off pannunnaa’ (Replaced with the words ‘ Light off pannuna yellarume onnuthan) – approved.
You might be India’s numero-uno director. But endha
pudungi maanga director-a irindhaalum, avangalukku oru mayirrum ille achchamum illai.
– Delete Kundi, Kottai, Mayiru.
– Deleted the word ‘ Bastard’ (Replaced with the word ‘ Porukki’ – approved)
– Deleted the word “Bitch” replaced with approved word “Witch”
– Deleted the word ‘ Satisfied’* uttered by heroine. (Replaced with the word ‘ Santhoshama’ – approved)
*Satisfied, as in the all-purpose Swaahili word for Kundi, Kottai, Mayiru.
They are also allergic to cleavage. They HATE it. They hate breasts and anything to do with breasts. Like, bras, for instance.
– Deleted the word ‘ Bra’ occuring twice in shot 32 (and 5 other bra-lines.)
Oh, and they also hate it when our heros conduct their head-toe sniff exams.
– Raghu sniffing over Mythili from her breasts to naval.
And thanks to them, we can still walk around, heads held high, telling the world that all Indians (except Karan Razdan), hate lesbians…
– Reduced by 50% the visual of love making between Tanya and Sapna expecially deleting (a) licking b) removing thegarment and putting the hand inside the grament by Tanya. c)Tanya above Sapna and making movements/licking.
…and a nude Mahesh Manjrekar.
– Deleted the visuals of Mahesh Manjrekar when he undresses his clothes.
PS1: Sarcasm, whatever, aside..I’m actually thankful for that last cut.
PS2: The Censor Board desperately needs a Spell-check tool.